Differences...They Make The World Go 'Round

In the Foreign Service, I had the privilege of serving in Honduras, Oman, Pakistan and then, after retirement, I was asked to go to Singapore and now Brunei. During my years of service I had the chance to observe how things are done differently in every country, many times with the same or very different result.  It's not that one way of doing things is right or wrong, but just different. The following things happened to me or someone I worked with at one of my posts overseas.  For those of you who follow me on this blog and are members of the Foreign Service, I'm sure you can relate and probably have many of your own examples!

·        You're driving and you need to change lanes.

o   Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei - You put your turn signal on. The acceptable culture is that the car in the lane you wish to be in slows down and allows you to enter their lane.

o   U.S. - Hell no! You can't come in my lane! I'm going to speed up and close the gap. So there! Often you end up passing your turn and making a U-turn to come back to it. Or you bully your way into the lane.

·        You are pushing your basket down the aisle in a grocery store.

o   Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei - There is a clerk sitting on the floor stocking items on a lower shelf. She has several boxes on the floor and there is not enough room for you to pass. You end up turning around and going back the way you came. She never looks up.

o   U.S. - The clerk quickly stands up, moves the boxes and apologizes. Often nothing needs to happen because the aisles are nice and wide.

·        Security has told you to vary your route driving to and from work (the embassy) to avoid being predictable.

o   Tegucigalpa, Honduras - One route is pot hole-free as you know it. You change your route and hit 4 pot holes large enough to have their own zip codes. You also drive into a hole in the road that is missing its man hole cover, probably being used as a cook top somewhere.

o   U.S. - No need to vary your route to work unless you hear a bulletin on the radio about a wreck.

·        You need to buy some chicken for a fried chicken dinner.

o   Bandar Seri Begawan,Brunei - You wander back to the meat department, following your nose. Chicken is in open cases, self serve style, each one with differing chicken parts. You pick up the tongs and pick your pieces. You also have chicken feet, tiny chickens and oddly chopped pieces to choose from. You shoo away a fly. The man next to you moves a few pieces with his hand, looking for just the right piece.

o   U.S. - You look at packages, carefully sealed with 'sell by' dates printed on them, all marked USDA Inspected and monitored carefully by the people in the meat department. You can also choose from chicken in a glass enclosed case. No fly is seen.

·        You and your friend want to go to the mall to do a little shopping.

o   Karachi, Pakistan - You request a vehicle from the Security Officer, making sure there is a driver and body guard available to go with you. Once at the mall, you must stay together and not more than 6 feet from your body guard. Fortunately, you can go in the fitting room by yourself.

o   U.S. - You drive to the mall.

·        You decide you want to go to the beach for a swim.

o   Muscat, Oman - It's June and a great day for a swim. You drive to one of the many beautiful beaches.  It's 115⁰.  You park the car and start walking toward the water. OMG...the sand is blazing hot! Half way to the water, you begin to run and by the time you get there, you have 2nd degree burns on the bottom of your feet. But the water is gorgeous and feels so good on your feet. You enjoy swimming in your shorts and tee shirt.

o   U.S. - It's a great 86⁰. You walk to the beach, lay down your towel and ice chest and stroll toward the water in your ittsy bittsy bikini.

·        You aren't feeling well, probably need to take something.

o   Tegucigalpa, Honduras - You go to the drug store and choose from any number of antibiotics, anti diarrhea meds or strong pain killers.  You choose 3 different medicines that you think will help it and pay the $5.00 for all.

o   U.S. - You call your doctor and find out they can't see you for 3 weeks. You try the neighborhood clinic in the neighborhood drugstore and after 45 minutes of paperwork, they tell you that you really need to see your personal physician. You grab a bottle of Advil and hope it helps somewhat while you wait the 3 weeks to see your doctor.  Three weeks later, you see the doctor and his $275 bill is all applied to your deductible.

·        You need to drive your kids to school.

o   Tegucigalpa, Honduras - You pile all 3 kids in the car and head to the school. Due to the security risk, you have your emergency radio with you and hear a warning that demonstrators have blocked the road to school. You struggle with an alternate route but end up having to go back home due to the threat of violence.

o   U.S. - You pile all 3 kids in the car and head to school. You arrive 5-10 minutes later and pull into the drop off lane. Kids kiss you and head into school.

·        You need a new pair of black pants for work.

o   Bandar Seri Begawan - You go online, find a pair at a Big Box Store and place your order. You get an email confirming your purchase. You immediately get an email cancelling your order. For the next 2 weeks you exchange emails with Big Box Store with no one able to explain why your order was cancelled. Extremely angry, you search for an email address for Big Box Store. You find one in New York and fire off an angry letter. A week later you receive an email thanking your your business and patience and oh gee, we just can't explain why your order was cancelled. Please place the order again. And by the way, we will give you free shipping on your next order. Six weeks later you get your black pants.

o   U.S. - You head to any Big Box Store near you, find the pants, try them on, pay for them and head home.

Winding Down

As expected, I have mixed emotions about leaving the Foreign Service. As the days and weeks go by and I approach my June 20 departure date from Karachi, I've reflected on the good times I've had and how those memories will be with me forever.  I'll miss so much of this lifestyle when I make my transition to retired person.  But I'm also excited about returning to Texas and now that I finally heard that I am a homeowner once again, I am thinking about what all I will now have time to do in that house to put my stamp on it.  I know all my carpets will look beautiful on the floors.  I was lucky to find a house with no/no wall to wall carpet, so I won't have to rip anything up!

 

These past 6 years have been so good; I don’t even know where to start listing what I’ll miss when I return to a normal life.  Probably the biggest thing I’ll miss is working with the local staff at the posts…Tegucigalpa, Muscat and Lahore.  Unless you are exposed to other cultures and people in other countries, you can’t appreciate how much I will miss this part of my job.  Living in America, we tend to believe that our way is the best way, the only way and any other ‘way’ is unacceptable.  This is totally not the case. I've learned so much from the Hondurans, Omanis and Pakistanis.  Not only do you learn that there’s more than one way to do something, depending on your circumstances, what supplies you have to work with and the skills you have to get the job done, you also learn that that your way may not be the best for all.  And the way of doing business around the world is amazing.  When I was in Oman as well as here in Pakistan, I would look at carpets…gorgeous, expensive hand knotted carpets.  There would be 30 carpets unrolled in front of me and the shop keeper would say…”Take some home with you and see how you like them.”  Hey, we’re talking over $1000 per carpet and this man is telling me to just take a few home.  “Pay me later”, he says…”or bring them back.  It’s OK.”  Of course, they knew that once you got it home, you’d fall in love with it even more and the carpet would never be returned.  You would go back the next day or week with cash in hand, thanking him profusely for letting you take them home to see just how you liked them.  Can you see Macy’s doing that?  Heck no.  There’s also a place in Islamabad who would sell items and, knowing we were diplomats and would be leaving in a year or 2, would buy back the items you had bought (less a small percentage) when you moved on if you decided you didn't want to keep them.  It’s kind of like a rental service for local items without having to keep them forever if you don’t want to.  This helps you avoid the problem of accumulating a ton of things at each post around the world.  After a 20 year career, I can imagine a home looking like a museum!

What will I not miss?  That list deals mostly with the quality of life.  It will be nice to be able to drink the water from the tap again.  I will love being in the same time zone as friends.  Being able to pick up the phone and call my doctor, insurance company, or whoever it might be that I have a problem with instead of waiting a week for emails to bounce back and forth.  And I will not miss being chauffeured around!  I can’t wait to get my car back!  And I won't have to soak my vegetables in bleach water.  

There’s another thing that I’ll have to deal with when I return home.  I've had the greatest opportunity to travel the world and see things that most people never get the chance to see…and experience things that others will never experience.  I’ll have to be very careful to not go on and on about my travels and experiences when with friends.  I have photo books with photos I've taken that I’ll leave out and if people ask, I will be happy to talk about my travels.  I may need to find an outlet for my love of places I've been…maybe the library or schools that sponsor things like this where I can share my experiences.  As much as I want to share where I've been and what I've seen, I don’t want to bore my friends.  I can see their eyes rolling and them thinking…’here she goes again.’

I can’t wait for what’s in store for me…

Carpets and rugs...Rugs and carpets

Many of my friends have asked me about the carpets/rugs I've acquired over the 4 years I've served in the Middle East.  I decided it would be a good thing to build another blog with pictures of them and a bit of information on each one.  This serves 2 purposes.  One, it is a great way for me to share my love of these things and it's also a great way to catalog them so I never forget the information about them.  I've also tried to share knowledge on hand knotted rugs/carpets, writing a bit about each one.  And you can read when it's a rug and when it's a carpet there too along with other bits of information about this wonderful craft.

I will be flying home tonight (3/31) for my final R&R and my time will be consumed with looking for and buying a home to move into when I return to Fort Worth as a retiree July 1, 2014.  Having little to no carpets in the house is at the top of the list.  My 27 rugs/carpets will look beautiful on the floors!

You can find my blog, Irresistible Temptations, here...www.couldnotsayno.blogspot.com. Once I upload all of my carpets, I'll add other things I just couldn't leave behind! 

Cultural Differences...Embrace Them!

Living in a foreign country is, in itself, an adventure. You encounter such a diverse cross section of people. During my 2 years in Honduras, most everyone I saw looked to be Honduran or at the very least, to be from South or Central America. No one really stood out as being from another country, except us gringos. That's not the case here in Oman. Many people come here from nearby countries for employment opportunities and, from what I can guess, a better standard of living. The quality of life is very good here. Consequently, there are many different nationalities living in Oman. There are only subtle differences in their appearances, so it's hard for me to tell who is from where...if you know what I mean. I am told (but have yet to commit it to memory) that you can differentiate one countryman from another by how they dress. Many Omani men wear the dishdasha, or the long white tunic that goes all the way to the ankle, leather sandals and the hat with beautiful embroidery on it. Some men wear the white or beige pants with the long matching tunic just reaching their knees with no head covering and I believe they would be from Pakistan. I say that because I drive by the Pakistani embassy every day on the way to work and see them standing in line to get in their Consular section.  Some, like the Saudis, wear the colorful ring that holds the cloth, which can be red and white or other color, around their heads with the long white tunic. I need some cultural help to know who is who. There are Omani, Pakistani, Sri Lankan, Indian, just to name a few, living here and many other countries in this reagion are represented here. I need to make a concerted effort to learn what region they are from by the clothes they wear.

The women also have several styles of dressing from very conservative, covering completely, to regular street clothes. So far, I haven't seen anyone in a full burka. Of the women who choose to wear the abaya, the long black caftan with the head covering, most do not cover their faces completely. I've also seen ladies who wear a sheer black fabric that completely covers their face but they can see out through the material. Other women, who I can only guess are from surrounding countries cover their heads with scarves or other wraps. Some wear regular street clothes and others will wear colorful loose fitting pants with long tunics and scarves, much like you would see in India. All in all, the variety of dress here paints a lovely picture of a very blended culture.

The Omani people are wonderful. This is a Muslim country and faith is very important here. For those who would judge all Muslims by the actions of the radical Muslims, you are judging the wrong people.  There are good and bad in every religion, culture, nationality, color or any other factor you choose.  Saying all Muslims are bad is like saying all blondes are dumb or all husbands cheat on their wives.  You just can't generalize like that. I can remember how uncomfortable it made me feel, years ago, when my ex-husband would use degrading words to describe someone from the Middle East who wore a head covering.  When you think about it, some types of clothing worn in the United States probably seems pretty stupid to people in other parts of the world. What kind of comments do you think are made about our Native American Indians and the feather headdress they wear? What about pointy toed Cowboy boots in Texas?  Or grass skirts on ladies dancing on the beach? My point is this...until you get out and learn about other cultures, it makes no sense at all to criticize.  It's all the many varied cultures and the desire to adhere to tradition that makes this world a beautiful painting.  And instead of criticizing and making fun of someone who just might be a little different from what you're used to, make an effort to learn about their culture. That's one of the beauties of my job...the opportunity to travel around the world and learn about others and more importantly, from others.

Living here in Oman, it is refreshing to see the modest styles of the dishdashas and abayas and the obvious pride in their heritage. No longer do I see pants hovering around some guy's butt-cheeks or tattoos and the tops of thongs peeking out from low slung pants on women. And I also don't have to sit in a restaurant and watch some couple making out.  Living in a country where things are mostly conservative is really a very nice thing.