Sheryl Crow, Sit Down and Shut Up

Sheryl Crow, you've crossed the line. First of all, I think you're looney, have lost touch with reality and are sadly mistaken if you think you speak for the masses. I've tried to just ignore you and it's been fairly successful. Until today. As I sat here listening to Mark Davis on my local talk radio in Fort Worth, Texas, he related to me your newest grand ideas for greening up America. No one...I repeat NO ONE...is going to tell me to use one square of toilet paper to wipe myself in the bathroom. I know you were being generous when you went on to say that we could use 3 squares for, well, our more messy needs. Maybe you think that's a healthful and sanitary way to take care of business in the bathroom, but you're (sorry to be repetitive) just plain looney. Just who voted you spokesperson for the world??? I'm sick of the whole bunch of people in the entertainment field speaking as though they were experts in every field, putting down those who ARE experts and using their time in the spotlight to spew their personal feelings on any and everything. Yes, we can use the OFF button but there are so many people who, just because they love your music, will believe you actually know what you're talking about.

Another great idea Ms. Crow has come up with is a Dining Sleeve. She thinks that way too many napkins are being used to wipe our faces at the dining table. This Sleeve would be detatchable and washable. At the table, when you're chowing down on some very tasty BBQ ribs, you would just...wipe your mouth on your sleeve. And don't forget, you could probably wipe your nose on it too and be perfectly Green! No thanks again, Ms. Crow. I think I'll just take my cat, Brandy, with me and let her lick my face and fingers for me. I hope you aren't laying awake at night coming up with these rediculous ideas.

I hope that this most recent bit of advice you've so generously shared with us serves to let people know that you really are only a great entertainer and certainly not to be taken seriously in any other arena. I can't wait for your next album...I'm sure we will be graced with song titles like One Sheet Woman, Take A Chance and Hold My Hand and No More Fingertip Kisses For You.